Sponge bath it is.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
