marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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