Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
We need to get me chipped asap
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
