I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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