He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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