I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
