I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
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