how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
