And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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