Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
