bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
