So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
