it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
