Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
where are my pants?
in the oven.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
