hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
