Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
