the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
