He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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