Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
