I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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