Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
