dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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