Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
