question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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