six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
