i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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