my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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