see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
