Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
