fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
