I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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