i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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