the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
