Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
