so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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