margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
