So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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