her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
