you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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