who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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