Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
