k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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