I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
