Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
