I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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