I must be too annoying 4 u.
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
