This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
