She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
