Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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