When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
