he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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