i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i just had sex bonerless
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
