trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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