Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
