Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
