we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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