just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
