Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
