Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
